What goes around...
"What goes around comes around"
"You reap what you sow"
I have a friend who tells me that she wants to live her life knowing that when she lays her head down at night she can sleep face up, knowing she didn't hurt or wrong anyone. I think this is pretty profound. Perhaps something to live by?
In retrospect, I know there have been people in my life that I have hurt, some intentionally, most unintentionally. I have bold faced lied to some. There have been people I have dug up dirt on to exploit to others. To say the very least I am so ashamed of these actions. I wish I could go to each person and ask for their forgiveness, I am so thankful that I have been forgiven by God and that his grace covers my life. Now that I am older I don't intentionally victimize like I did in my younger years. I don't feel the need for self-preservation or building up walls to protect me.
With all of that put out there, I am realizing that I have been a victim too. There have been people who have hurt me, abused me and made horrible accusations against me. In life we have all been on both sides of this.
So is this just a simple case of "what goes around comes around?"
"you reap what you sow". Growing up as Christian I always thought that was a positive saying,. Do good and you will prosper or you will receive blessings. What a line of $&*!. God doesn't owe me ANYTHING!!! I OWE HIM EVERYTHING (but that is another story). And now that I am older I realize it works both ways. "YOU reap what YOU sow!!!" I watch it happening all around me, not only to myself but others I know. People who hurt me, I see similiar pains coming back to them. Is there a way we can prevent this vicious cycle from happening? Or is this just a part of our human nature we will have to endure while living and breathing?
Well this was just a random thought...just putting it out there...maybe I will come back in a few days with a bit more clarity...or maybe not...
BoxedIn Acrylic, sheet metal on canvas
11:39 AM | Labels: art, randomthoughts | 1 Comments
2009 Walt Disney World Marathon
Pre-Race Sunday, January 11, 2009 I awoke at 3:30 AM, and started getting ready for the marathon. I traditionally eat half of a protein bar and take two Tylenol along with a little bit of water. Not too much or else I will have to go at the beginning of the race. For some reason I wasn’t really looking forward to this race like I have in past years. One reason, I didn’t get to train like I wanted to. Moving, traveling, sickness all interfered with my long runs. The longest run I got to do was back in October when I did 18 miles. I should have done a 21 miler at least four weeks prior to the race. The other reason was, my brother Jimmy was supposed to be in the race with me. Unfortunately, he suffers from Crohn’s disease and is currently on chemo. The chemo is making him quite ill and taking on the challenge of the marathon would not be a smart thing to do, at least for his health’s sake. I know he was stubborn enough to push through, stubbornness runs in our family…but God gives us wisdom for a reason; that is, when we listen to it. Any who, I was very emotional this particular morning. I found myself crying a little bit here and there and wishing Jimmy was with me at the start! Everyone knowing I would have smoked him beyond that…hahahaha!!!
4:15 AM I arrive at the EPCOT parking lot where I park my car in Creative 41. I can hear the music blaring from the bandstand and the announcer asking all of the runners to head to the staging area beyond the white tents. It is fairly chilly, in the low 50’s. I am wearing a sweatshirt that will stay with me until I warm up, it will get discarded to the side of the road where Disney will then pick it up and clean it. Once they clean all of the discarded clothing they give it to Orlando area shelters. I no sooner get into the ‘staging area’ when we are asked to start heading to the Starting line. The walk to the starting line is roughly .6 miles, although it feels much longer. I always find it interesting to listen into other people’s conversations; it is entertaining especially because I had no one to talk to. I could feel my nerves building. I don’t know why. For me this is just another run, a run I could NEVER win, but there is always that underlying desire to beat a previous personal time. Also, my lack of training had me worried about how I would fair on the course. At this time I take my first electrolyte pill and I am ready to get running.
5:00 AM Sitting in Corral C, awaiting the start of the 16th running of the Walt Disney World Marathon is so boring when you don’t know anyone around you. The time does seem to go by quickly as I entertain myself by watching others and their pre-race rituals! I don’t have any, I stretch very little and I usually just watch everyone else. Before I know it is 5:45 AM and the wheelchair race is about to begin. We first honor our troops with a round of applause then we sing the national anthem. I cry every time I sing it!
6:00 AM and the first 3 miles…Here we go! The race has begun! It took me a little over three minutes to reach the start line. I start running my usual pace for a marathon and I am feeling pretty good. I realize it will take about two to three miles before I settle into a comfortable stride. The first three miles take Corrals A, B and C through the back side of EPCOT. It is important to emphasize that the lighting ‘behind the scenes’ is terrible!!! This was my first year getting to start behind the Elite runners and I kept thinking to myself why do they get the crappy side of the race? I was nearly plowed over by a few male runners and almost tripped several times on small yellow cones and speed humps. The nice thing about running behind the faster runners was that I didn’t have to content with walkers. You know the people who start walking the marathon from the start line. Don’t get me wrong I am all for anyone trying a marathon and if you have to walk it all the more power to you, but start in the back of the race, not up front where people are running. For your safety and everyone else’s!!! By mile 3 the two start groups merge and it becomes one race! I guess I should have mentioned that Corrals A, B and C are the Blue Start group and all of the other Corrals D through H were the Red Start groups. During the first three miles I discarded my sweatshirt, had trouble breathing and had a kink in my right ankle.
Miles 4-9 These miles were mostly uneventful. I was now in a comfortable running pace, maintaining a comfortable 10 minute mile. My body felt strong and I was at the least pleased. I kept thinking about my brother and wishing he felt strong enough to run. I thought about all of the orphans I got to spend time with in Kenya, and even prayed for them. This part of the journey takes you from EPCOT to the Magic Kingdom parking lot. These miles are boring but easy. Most of my daily runs are between 6-8 miles so this is a piece of cake for me! Most importantly, uneventful!
Miles 10-13 At mile marker 10 we are entering the Magic Kingdom onto Main Street, USA! The crowds are lined up and down the street and cheering us on. The Castle is right in front of me and I am inspired to run stronger. We take a turn off of Main Street and head into Tomorrow Land then on into Fantasy Land. From there we run through the Castle and down on into Frontierland. Once through Frontierland we are taken backstage and down a side road past the Grand Floridian, Polynesian and near the Magic Kingdom parking lot. At this point is the half way mark for the marathon…mile 13, I am starting to feel my knees bothering me…but I can easily over look that discomfort and I trek on. My time is great, at this pace I will finish the race in 4:22:00 and I will beat my time from last year!
Miles 14-19 By mile 14 I knew something was very wrong. My right quad felt like it had ‘popped’ or better yet ‘snapped off’. The pain was really bad! I have to say I have a pretty high tolerance to pain. I don’t think I mentioned earlier but my left foot went completely numb by mile 10, and even though I say numb it is actually very painful. But I have learned that this happens to me and I run through it and usually 5-6 miles later it will be better. Well, this leg pain was too much! I stopped by one of the medical tents and grabbed a glob of BioFreeze and applied it liberally to my quad and since I had some leftover I put it on my calves too. Around mile 15.5, I felt an all too familiar feeling in my stomach. It was starting to cramp and I started to get scared. I decided to walk for a bit and try to walk it off. By mile 17 my stomach was bad!!! The cramping was making me dizzy and nauseas. I have dealt with this before in a marathon and I tried to ignore it. I started doing a run two minutes and then walk two minutes. It wasn’t helping. I was so upset. I had been doing everything right! I had been drinking PowerAde and water at every fluid stop and I was even taking electrolyte pills every 45 minutes. Why was my stomach cramping??? I have been to the doctor for this and it is an imbalance in my electrolytes when I run. I WAS DOING EVERYTHING I KNEW TO DO. I have been through other marathons without this problem, all of my training runs without this problem. WHY NOW, WHY ON THIS DAY??? So by mile 19 I found myself crying and I hit THE WALL!!! The dreaded WALL, most runners hit this mental block…mine came at mile 19! As for my pace it has slowed down some but my anticipated finishing time is 4:45:00, a little slower than last year but I can live with that.
Miles 20-26.2 WHERE IS THE POTTY??? Yes, I know, not a nice thought but a cruel reality for me. By mile 20 I was nearly doubled over in pain. Unfortunately, the closest portapotty was at mile 21. I really truly felt like I was going to pass out. I couldn’t think or even see straight, I knew what was happening I was becoming incoherent and I was dehydrated! I finally reached a potty and nearly passed out when I got inside. I was so sick!!! I pulled myself back together and tried to move on. I had a false sense of feeling a little better. I stopped by the next water stop and downed a PowerAde and water, then nearly threw up. Mile 23, I needed another bathroom…still sick…Mile 24 I was nearly taken out by a taller runner who stumbled on his feet and flew to the ground. Even though I felt like crap, I stopped to help him back up and get him to the side of the course where he could get help. I could hear people saying to me…Come on Jeanne only 2 miles to go, you can do it, come on! I wanted to cry, but there were no tears. I started to notice goose bumps on my skin…yep I was in danger. The pain inside was so bad. I finally reached the final water stop near mile 25. I asked a volunteer where the nearest bathroom was then I fell to the ground. She asked if I needed medical attention and I said no just a bathroom. I blacked out for a second and then realized I was in the bathroom. I cried and begged God to get me to the finish line. I only had 1.5 miles to go, I was so close…I couldn’t give up. But all I wanted to do was lay down on the tile in the bathroom. I was in there for a while until I could pull myself back together. When I got out the volunteer was waiting to make sure I was ok. That was very nice of her. I put on a fake smile and started to run again. I downed another water and PowerAde. Making my way around the World Showcase in EPCOT I found a college aged girl who was injured and walking to the finish. I chatted with her to keep my mind off of the pain I was in. Of course, once I saw another bathroom I had to go and be sick again!!! Still crying but no tears…begging once again for God to get me to the finish line which was now less than a mile away! Sure enough, God gave me strength like I can’t even explain and I made it to mile 26. Just around the corner, there were only .2 of a mile left, I mustered what I could and I ran through the finish line. I seriously don’t remember it. Next thing I know I am receiving my medal and finding my family. (I would like to mention that it took me 45 minutes to complete the last 1.5 miles.)
Post Race I found my dad and I completely lost it. I could not stop crying…I was so sick and my pride was so hurt. I finished the race in 5:48. I was so depressed over this; that was the worst time EVER!!! My dad sat me in the shade and I continued to cry. All of the physical and emotional pain hit all at once. I do remember calling Brian on the phone, he was in Atlanta, helping to lead worship at our old church, I think I told him I was over running marathons. He of course, spoke encouraging words, unfortunately, I can’t remember what they were but I know I felt a little better after I hung up. (I just have to say I have the most amazing husband who supports me in all my hopes and dreams, I am so blessed) After I sat there, people kept saying things to me but I couldn’t understand anything! It was like they were speaking in another language. My good friend, Pat, who was volunteering that day took me over to a bathroom where I nearly passed out. She got medical attention for me and the next thing I knew I was in a wheelchair being taken to the medical tent. I have to give a thousand kudos to the medical personnel that volunteered that day. They were so kind and nonjudgmental. It was as I feared, I was dehydrated and they nursed me back to a stable state. I later found out that the reason for the dehydration was due to the Mucinex D that I had been taking for my sinus congestion. Turns out you should not take cold medicine for a few days before a race…NOW I KNOW!!!
Bottom line is that I finished the race. I was blessed to have God watching over me in my stupidity. Looking back, the medal wasn’t really worth endangering my health. But in some ways I feel like it helped me to see just how strong I am and how strong my faith is in God. Seriously, he is the one who carried me through, I could not have done this race without him. And yes, I will run other marathons, but for now I am going to focus on halves and if I get into NYC that will be great, if not there are some other adventures for 2009 that I am looking into…so stay tuned!!!
This race was dedicated to my brother, Jimmy; the orphans in Kenya and above all else my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, without him I can do nothing on my own!!!
Blessings!
9:11 AM | Labels: running | 2 Comments
Daily Bread by Brian Boughner
My husband was asked to write a daily word for our old church in Atlanta. Apart from his silly but truthful sense of humor in the first paragraph (I am indeed a goddess of love and beauty...LOL) I think he hit it on the head in the scripture he speaks about and I thought I would share!
Daily Bread
December 29th, 2008
Today's Passage: Acts 6:1-2
Brian Boughner is a 35 year old manly man who is married to the goddess of love and beauty, Jeanne, and they have an incredible beautiful daughter named Selah. Brian and his wonderful family have recently moved from Atlanta and now live in the amazing Greenville, South Cackalaky. They miss their Cumberland family and hope more of them would come up and visit. A little more about Brian... Brian's greatest accomplishment was winning both the '92 and '93 Swedish Air Guitar World Championship. He still holds the world record for most notes played during a 60 second period. His goal in life is one day to be fit enough to be Alan Scott's stunt double. Brian also enjoys long walks on the beach at sunset and has the largest Hello Kitty collection this side of the Mississippi.Key
Verse:In those days when the number of disciples was increasing, the Grecian Jews among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. So the Twelve gathered all the disciples together and said, "It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on tables. - Acts 6:1-2Central Truth:In our serving in ministry, let's make sure we don't overlook the "least of these"... or rather, the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
Every Church Has Them
So in a nutshell… The disciples were busy preaching the gospel and doing the Lord’s work. Their numbers were increasing, they were growing leaps and bounds, God was doing amazing miracles in their midst, and yet, there was a problem. They were negligent of the fact that that certain widows were not getting their fair share of the food.
When reading this, I’m reminded of 2 things:
First, the Apostle James says that “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” I love this verse… and it’s pretty self explanatory… PURE religion is taking care of orphans and widows, and living a righteous life. The disciples very quickly realized this and as you’ll find out in tomorrow’s devotional, they began to take measures to make sure they weren’t dropping the ball in this very important area of ministry.
Second, even when a church is growing and busy doing the work of ministry, there could be some very important people in God’s eyes that are being neglected. Jesus talks about these people when he says, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’ Have you asked yourself recently if there are any at Cumberland that could possibly qualify as being one of the “least of these?” A widow? A child of a single parent? A ‘fringe’ person? Every church has them. I think about myself… sure, I was a part of the worship team and was very busy on Sunday mornings, however, how many times did I pass by folks that were not a part of a regular crew of friends and never made an effort to say hi and get to know them. Even to just introduce myself and simply ask if there is anything that I can be praying for them.
8:57 AM | Labels: inspiration | 0 Comments
New Year...new adventures
7:14 PM | Labels: 2009 | 0 Comments

