So...I got the ok from my doctor to walk and so what did I do, I went for a walk. (eh hem I actually went walking before I got the ok but that was around the local HS track and I was only able to do 1.5 miles before I felt like I was going to pass out from exhaustion). It is quite amazing to me how much surgery takes out of you. (No pun intended on the 'takes out of you part') I feel great and I am mostly pain free yet doing ordinary physical activities is absolutely draining!

Any who, my husband is working from home today and I holler upstairs to his office that I am going for a walk. He sounds hesitant to let me out the door, he knows how stubborn I am. He says ok and tells me that whe will be here, I tell him I am bringing my cell phone and out the door I go for a 'walk'...No running...I still have stitches and I don't want to jostle my body that much. As a disclaimer let me just say that I should have taken the advice of my friend Wendi, when I spoke to her earlier today about going for a walk! She encouraged me to take it easy, try only a mile loop...that sounded good at the time...but...

As I set out I only planned on walking a mile...seriously...HOWEVER...I get to a mile and I feel pretty good. My right leg is slightly numb and feels a little heavier than my left but I am chalking that up to the surgery and it will go away. I should have turned around at that point! But no, I am stubborn and strong willed so I set out to do two more miles...By the time I got to the two mile marker I was wiped out!!! Stupid Jeanne, really stupid!!! Then I start to play mind games with myself to ward off the fatigue. That's when I hear "perfectionist Jeanne" say..."Look how strong you are, pushing through fatigue, look how strong you are"! UH WRONG!!! Look how ridiculous you are is more like it. What do I have to prove? I just had major surgery. Why does everything in my life have to be to an extreme? Why can't I just ease back into something? Why is it all or nothing?

Good news is, I made it home safely. I feel super tired and drained. Hopefully this will be a lessoned learned and I will listen to the sound advice of my husband, friends and even my doctor. Otherwise, I'm not going to heal properly and I will continue to feel...well...BLAH!